How is this happening?

Serious question. Needs to be asked in all caps.


I’m still suffering from pain in my glutes and hamstring. That’s a year. An entire year! 52 weeks, 365 days – a bloody year!!

Yes I still managed to hobble round a 100km race and a 33 miler but they weren’t exactly stellar performances! Quite frankly they were borderline embarrassing. In fact, let’s not talk about them. Given a baby could crawl faster.

I had a few weeks of next to no running – just 2/3 days. Slight improvement. I mean, I can run a few miles before the pain hits. I no longer care about my pace as my focus is distance so if I’m doing 9 minute miles than so be it. Even if it is just a 5 mile run. But I would prefer it to be closer to 8 let’s be honest.

I’ve been back to physio who discovered I had no reaction what so ever to being hit by a hammer (very strange as I was immensely worried my leg would fly up and kick her in the face but nope, nothing). Are you doing any stretching or exercises to help your legs she asks me.


This is the odd bit. You see I very much know exactly what I should be doing to help build up my incredible lack of muscle (sometimes I wonder how I’m able to walk my body appears to be that pathetically weak right now) but for some unknown reason I’m just not doing them. I have no discipline what so ever. It’s insulting. The drive and thirst has gone. I can run. It hurts like a mother f…. but I can run. Therefore the arrogance – or could it be laziness – in me has decided to go f@ck it. Run slow, run in pain, but don’t try to fix it.

I would love at this point to say ‘well enough is enough!’ Or something equally as self righteous and poignant but I know it would be a lie. So I’m not going to. I’m not going to declare some huge master plan of how I’m going to fix myself and get back to the goal of a 3:45 marathon. Nope. I’m just going to honestly say – bleurgh.

2 days ago I had planned a 10 mile run. I should be running further just now but 10 miles fitted in to the days schedule. I forced myself to 7 and phoned to get picked up. I was on my way to my parents and Joe was bringing the car anyway so it was more of a ‘don’t drive past me pick me up please’ request. It hurt. It hurt really bad. I carried on and just as the garmin said 9 miles our car pulled up in front of me.

The old me, the me a year ago, would have said ‘it’s only another mile, doesn’t matter, I will see you there’ and forced that last torture. Not now. Not that day. And I’m so glad I didn’t. It didn’t stop hurting until the next day. I couldn’t sit comfortably, couldn’t lie in bed easily, it just hurt all the time.

So after reality hit me on the head (or arse to be more accurate) I decided I have no choice but to stop running for a solid 5 days.

I’m on day 2 and it is KILLING me. I’ve been to the gym, I’ve been swimming, I’ve bought 2 more books to read and countless magazines but oh my god I’m bored!! And restless.

But every time I think ‘maybe just a few miles’ I remember stopping at mile 9 of my 10 mile run. I don’t do that. That isn’t me. So something was killing me.

I’ve booked an ultra for the end of March. I can’t really afford any time off training. But if I can’t really run it what’s the freaking point?

I also have another race in which there is someone who is going to try their damnedest to beat me. I am their target, I am their goal. If I’m honest, it’s that that has maybe finally made me get up off the couch and do my stretches. It’s pee’d me off I won’t lie. Yes I pick people to try and beat in a race but not people who are injured! That’s not a win! Have some respect.

Do I have a grand master plan? No. Are they going to beat me? There’s a high possibility. The ultra – at the moment – is my main focus, not that piddily wee race. So if I have to slow down to prevent further issues I will (I say that now but on the day…. who knows).

As you can probably tell I’m just a bit frustrated right now. Im fed up of my arse hurting and I just want to run. Pain free. I’ve found an entertaining pod cast that helps keep my sludge of a pace even so I’m ready for Saturday to lace up the trainers and get out there.

Will I last it out until Saturday? Who knows. Will I completely fall out of love with running if I don’t run until Saturday? That’s a fear, I won’t lie. What if I decide to just stop altogether? (I’m starting to have a panic attack now).

We will see.

5 thoughts on “How is this happening?

  1. Hello!

    I probably shouldn’t waste your time commenting because none of this will be popular but- when I tore my quad/hip flexor, I was asked to not run AT ALL until it was healed. My physio always tells me that 21 days after the initial injury, your muscle is only20% as strong as before the injury occurs. So gentle rehab is mandatory when I develop a persistent injury. I know you won’t want to stop running, but the only way I could keep running ever again without pain (and it’s still not ever totally pain free) was to stop.

    I really hope you find a solution that doesn’t involve you ceasing running until you’ve healed, but it definitely worked for me.

    Feel better soon!

    G x


    1. If someone actually knew definitively what was wrong and could say categorically the only cure is to stop running for a greater length of time than that’s a different story. The difficulty is the not knowing yet the first words of advice is ‘well just don’t run’. (That’s not a dig at you, I’m just speaking generally. I’m sure you know the type of person I’m meaning)
      At the moment it feels like stopping running is just giving up and I’m not prepared to do that.
      5 days is a very long time. It has to give me at least some form of improvement.


      1. But is it just 5 days and then you’re back to normal? Your body is coping with a lot. You do 30,000 steps daily. That’s a crazy amount (I didn’t do that many as a waitress!) so your legs never get any actual rest (it’s impossible and I understand that).

        5 days is zero time for recovery, based on every injury I’ve ever had. (Soz)

        Has your physio suggested ultrasound or MRI for a finite diagnosis? Might be worth suggesting to help you get this sorted. I have so much empathy with you as there’s NOTHING more frustrating.

        I’m also not having a dig. Just have masses of experience with annoying AF injuries that don’t let me do what I love. I got into fitness to treat chronic fibromyalgia which meant I couldn’t actually move most of the time it had flared. So I know how worn down you can feel when you’re in pain.



      2. Physio has given me exercises for 3 weeks (which I’ve been doing) and said if no improvement then she will write to doctor for MRI / scan. I believe 5 days will give me something. Maybe not completely eradicate it but enough to tell me if rest will actually help.


      3. I can guarantee you that rest will *definitely* help. Great that phys will refer you to GP and recommend MRI. at least then you can hopefully find out what it *actually* is! Hope 5 days gives you some reprieve from the pain. X


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